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i hate this thing. whats the point of deleting entries when the freaking archive page doesnt refresh itself? blergh. so here goes nothing,my archives.
http://no-big-truth.livejournal.com
http://faintsparkle.livejournal.com
http://endthisdrama.diaryland.com
http://adoredstarsx.diaryland.com
http://starlette05.diaryland.com>
http://starlette.easyjournal.com>

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lj-2

2003-2004

2002:my first blog ever


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lj-2

2003-2004

2002:my first blog ever


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http://no-big-truth.livejournal.com

:)


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[ music | interpol - no i in threesome ]

I'm feeling numb. But hours ago, i was happy being alone in town, getting the stuff i wanted.
iNTERPOL is love.






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Transformers was a dreeaaam to watch. And it was such a spectacular movie for me that it just surpasses the awesomeness of 300! I must admit that i was completely taken in by the whole direction and cinematography of the movie that i just sinked into my seat in silent heart-throbbing awe. Its like what i used to see as cartoons on television when i was a child became LIFELIKE in this movie and the intricateness of the special effects just got me so psyched. I almost felt like a little kid again, gawking at the magnificent idea of cars transforming into giant robots. Its something so familiar it almost feels majestic when you see the Autobots setting down on Earth. And the cute thing is that it was also entertainingly humorous probably combined to attract even non-Transformers believers. Well,i think its undeniably a gem of a remake & i would love to watch it again & again & again & again.. :)

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Dear friends,i have found some place else for more personal entries. This space will still be here just for me to post pictures and stuff. For those who still read,do e-mail me and i'll notify of my new blog address. Tata for now..


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O'Briens has opened an outlet in the building,just a level below our office. Woohoo :)


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Tears. i dont know where i went wrong,what i did,what i said to have them one by one walk out the door,walk out of my life. nothing's the same anymore and i end up being envious of people i know who are blessed with strong friendships.
maybe. just maybe,i'm not good enough for them.


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Word has been confirmed last week that fucking The Cure is dropping by our little island (!!!!) .... But im just wallowing in disappointment that i'd have to miss it as i've been and still am,dead broke these past few months til today. Its a torture that hit me like a hard slap in the face. Which then made me realize how money is very essential for the society to allow one to have a supposedly COOL SOCIAL LIFE in stinking Singapore. Oh well,i'd settle for pratas in Yishun with gd company+pictures+morepictures...
And as long as i've seen MUSE earlier this year,i suppose things arent half as bad.


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i'll stay with you till the seas are dried up...

This photograph was taken by me when i visited Bali with my family back in 2004 & it feels like i rediscovered the beauty only until i checked my online shutterfly albums. Yeah,it is that boring ard here..


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bang bang bang! the bigger the better

The internet is down so its a bit of a bore at home. I must however confess that the past few days in the office has been a breeze & i actually conquered peace of mind while completing the superior's tasks of generating them credit reports. Bills & I.O.Us are a bummer..I HATE BEING BROKE! I miss shoppingg....


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I'm going for a swim with a girlfriend tonight at our neighbourhood pool. In an attempt to maintain our new found so-called regular exercise habit. HEHE And I wrote the following PayDay list whilst nursing my massive headache 5 minutes ago.. The pain's frying my brains but as always,thoughts of retail satisfaction proved to be therapeutic.
- haircut
- a brand new cardigan
- new shoes for work
- black skinny-cut trousers for work
- EYELINER
- that black blouse from Zara (t.b.a)
And i'm still hoping & eyeing for that Asics slip-ons while Ibiza birkies will have to wait for 26th July.


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I'm typing this in the midst of processing the stupid report just cause i need to say it out. Things have been feeling different nowadays.. On the outside everything looks to be right on track but i cant kid anyone by saying that by some actions it feels exactly the same. Are my expectations changing? Are yours changing? Are we changing... Assumptions are never healthy. Maybe i should just go get a life.


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Here's a photograph of my beautiful Shida on her engagement ceremony earlier today.



It was a bummer that we couldnt give her the surprise that we had planned due to some printer cock-up! but it was all good. I think.. And she looked so beautiful. Like she always does..My abg Nano! *LOL* :)
I was also happy to finally meet up with Nani & we yapped and laughed with Din like we always did whenever we all got together. Even though it was like barely half of our gang ard,we still managed to get looks from our noise. *points to Nani* And she agreed to resume her role of my jogging partner - we'll just see how long it'll last though! Haha.. I had a nice day with them. & yeah, Henny, it'd have been fun if u were there too.


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I wish I could eat the salt off of your lost faded lips
We can cap the old times make playing only logical harm
We can cap the old lines make playing that nothing else will change


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Fucking temps are super annoying. ESPECIALLY THE SMELLY ONE.. They take up extra oxygen in the damn office and the fact that she rule at kissing butts makes me abominate them even more.
Maybe i am whining too much.
And last night I had a dream of long-lost friends... Shammie..Ima..Sha..rest of secondary school friends. It was weird. and in the dream, we took polaroids of Blythe dolls. I just miss laughing all day with girlfriends...


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added to my never-ending wishlist.


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If everyone could have their way, i'd have 10 killer-instinct Bangladeshi women torture her before shaving her head,dumping her into a gunny sack where they will drop her off in the sea at Changi Beach upon where a boat of illegal businessmen find her & bring her to some unknown island where they will make her a KTV hostess which ends in a way that they had no choice but to send her back to Changi Beach as not even a 64 yr old cheeky man was willing to pay to sing karaoke with her. And when she reach the beach, she will panic & flag a taxi back to her workplace to reprimand ppl who dont treat her like god & erm,scold ppl like dogs as she is n a very foul mood due to her experience.


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As if knowing how deprived i am of new tunes,i've discovered a new band thanks to msn! hahaha. Well,the weekend was kinda bland except for me cleaning up+redecorating my room & watching School of Rock on a saturday night at home. Yeah,i have no life. Fusilli with meatballs was alright tho it did not live up to my expectations & i was kinda full.. Next time k hun. And another note, many thanks to Sha too for the recommendation. :)
I hate Mondays & I have a feeling that im gonna have a really fucked day @ work tomorrow. Halimah Yacob expressed how it is plain prejudice against Non-Chinese citizens to have employers demanding ONLY Mandarin-Speaking in job ads. In fact,according to what i heard,its even made illegal now. But nevertheless after checking out some websites earlier,i found out that the bastards just totally rephrased it to "Required to communicate with all staff,including Mandarin-speaking" or "Mandarin-speaking required,to communicate with clients frm China".. Now,how sickly devious can that be....
Moving on,this next picture was taken by my mum when she was in Hawaii last year. It never crossed my mind in the past to post this up cos i was too bummed on how i couldnt join them due to my birthday chalet. Beautiful isnt it.. Well,she did took up photography when she was as young as me. Haha, my parents were such dorky arty farty nerds.



Pull me out of the ocean
Take me up in your arms again
Cast away, with the love you send
Such a strange education
Sends me into your arms again
Cast away, lost again


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I had IKEA as my lunch buddy today & although i got semi-drenched thanks to the rain,i'm a happy shopper :)




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i'd like these please..
thank you.


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music: travis - closer

Spent a lovely day @ town gorging on unhealthy junk food. The crowds got to me instead & i think i'm gonna stay away from that damn place for a while. I'm so sick of looking at all the T.Cs & mentel underaged girls like the one @ Chippys who couldnt resist jutting out her fat boobs oversqueezed in her basi volcom tshirt as she sneaked in just a few inches in front of my boyfriend. Tsk tsk. Its quite alright if u did that at clubs but at a public food joint? How deprived can one get! She didnt even look to be over 18. Wear a bigger bra to better fit your spilling boobs & go fondle with your equally BASI roxy backpack at home honey. We aint one of your kind.
Other than that,we had oodles of fun @ Borders. Which left me with a very long wishlist at the end of the day. Groan!




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[ music: Travis - Closer ]

Yay i am back to typing songs in my playlist just cos i feel like it. My dear dad brought me to dinner @ Delifrance and we had a nice time chatting,debating over the quality of customer service in this country. Considering that my dad had worked in the hotel line for over 20 years, he had his say while i defeated that i am still very much unimpressed by some local staff who choose to be much nicer to caucasian foreigners than their own countrymen. Balls to that. But when u think again, gd service is naturally rendered when you respect your peers & intereact politely to the staff who is serving you. Nobody owes u a damn living. In short,i strongly stick by the stigma that our own countrymen do need to know how to show their respect in order to earn it.

Why am i typing this at 2.14am in the morning.


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"if i had one wish this is what it would be, i'd ask you to spend all your time with me & we'd be together forever.. we'd buy a small house in south central L.A, raise lots of kids & we'd both join a gang just as long as we're together.. the things you make me wanna do.. i'd rob a quik e-mart for you, & go to the pound & let all the cats go free, just as long as you'll be with me.."

the ataris brings me back many many memories of being a teenager. this song depicts all those secondary-school crushes we all once had. n i wouldnt mind it if a guy proposed to me with a pubescent song as this..im thinking, kris roe might have been one of the very few sweetest boyfriends in the universe.


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I was indeed disappointed when i went by the Esplanade the night before to find out that stupid stadium-like seats has been built for the floating stage,leaving Marina Park half-gone. It was incredibly sad cos those place sure had them memories... Whats worse, with the whole IR shabang, the damn place looks so scattered and utterly distasteful. My sweet escape,destroyed.. Polluted too with irritating teenagers. Guess everyone's into the whole arty thing now,sitting by the sea,snapping emo pictures,displaying it proudly on friendster. Not that i've never done that, but please, you people crowd these places and give me such an eyesore.
Today was well spent with us having a mini picnic by Sembawang beach munching on turkey ham sandwiches and a pint of Ben+Jerrys! Simple activities complete simple weekends.
And then it was camera-frenzy with his little nieces at his home.. Hehe. I love.



(( my lazy sunday + pretty children ))


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i succumbed to surfing interpol videos again. and boy, was this chick the coolest. She made having long jetblack hair fun and striped tops so newyork-arty-chic. Circa 2004. i miss my long dark locks.


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Irreverence was alright. Will be looking forward to the pictures frm the Logistics girls & then i'll post it up here cos i know it looks better than the ones i got using my mobile. Makan-Makan session with dearest colleagues however was rightfully one of the best times we had together. The buffet was a hell of a spread, japanese italian thai asian korean bbq, you name it they have it! As awesome as the food was,i think we had more fun cracking our crazy jokes targeted at the superior (LOL)& laughed the night away. It was like,our regular lunch behaviour stretched out for hours. And after the dinner i hung out at Starbucks bukit panjang plaza with Sidah where which i may add we got ripped off 4dollars for a bottle of grapefruit juice just cos she felt like puking. Hahaha...
We chatted & she got on reminiscing abt our late colleague who had recently passed on..I never knew they were that close & hence had wondered before last night on how she had coped with the loss. They were such best friends, ones that lived nearby each other & spent many happy days shopping+eating+holidaying together.. and the fact that was really sad is that Sidah never got to see Mala before she died..... Not even when she died.. due to work commitments... It was so sad it just got me thinking damn, life is that unpredictable. When you wake up in the morning you dont even know if its your last day on earth and you set out on your regular routine, thinking life's a bitch, not having a clue of what's gonna happen to you..
The fragility of life is indeed overwhelmingly morbid.
And to think that the people who worked with Mala had thought of her as an unfavourable colleague, sharing negative thoughts of her, never taking the opportunity to know the real person.. How do they feel now? Not blessed with a last chance to even seek forgiveness from her......
Its tragic.


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Out of all the people in the universe, i never expected you to have the ability to make me feel as much happiness as great as standing at the edge of a rainbow, and ironically also show me pain that makes me feel like my emotions' been ripped into a million shreds.


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I was completely overwhelmed by Gwen's live rendition of 4 in the Morning that i felt like i wanted to just cry. Yes,i am that insane. The song speaks of my feelings & thats the real thing abt Gwen, in her songs she relates on how she experiences all these wacky emotions u get when ur madly in love with a guy and it makes her seem just like the girl next door despite her talent & successes. GWEN IS MY HOME GIRL :)


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The fact that i feel so lethargic and lazy as i type this entry really makes me wonder why i ever chose to have a deskbound job. And its so ironic how me, someone who gets so sick of routine, has been sticking to straight office hours for the past 2 freaking years. Amazing isnt it. Well at least my mum agrees.. So why,why,why. I feel so drained out the moment i reach my bed & its crazy cos all i do is sit in the office. Whats up with that... ??

And tmr, is mixed feelings day. I'm not very good at socialising and neither do I want to. Talking to people i dont know seems like a hassle to me and i suppose thats why i dont dig parties. Maybe you can say that i am an introvert. Ard these people,I will often pretend to fiddle on my mobile phone,as if to reply messages although there's none so I have an excuse not to talk. True, people do find me as such a boring snob. But i dont care. And i know i'm not the only one who behaves this way.


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smoke-out with mai was lovely. cause i saw the bluest most beautiful sky outside the office and by capturing it on image, it made me realize that there were more priceless things that mattered than boys,pretty clothes and clubbing.



( more where there's space )


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In this day of age, where people abandon friendships for unknown reasons oblivious to the other party, buy expensive skate shoes for online crushes, you tend to wonder where's the logic in everything. Like how i simply cant fit into my favourite pair of distressed jeans and cried the whole night about it.


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The unpredictable traffic has always proved to be a hindrance ever since we resumed work @ Megastore. And this morning was no difference.. Bleghft! I arrived in the office half an hour late and i didnt manage to grab breakfast. On another note,why are some people only ever so concerned when it comes to taking care of their own ass....
Sidah's not feeling well, poor her. I hope we dont fail. Then again,hope has never been my friend. What a start for the week.


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Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright


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I've since realized that it wasnt the hosts screwing up but its my damn I.E. Help!

Food for thought. Whosgoing? Who cares.
Hmmm.


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Today began rather abruptly. but the damn hosts are being such bitches. This inspired me,considering twinkle twinkle is the only song she sings when i get her on video (:




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i had reese's in the office & i couldnt resist sneaking in pictures :)


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The Kate Moss collection frm Topshop looks divine. If only i could just lose all diz flabs. Sigh! And today was cute when i heard the "news"..They have my fullest blessings :) It was great to meet friends who seem so happy to see u they hug u & stuff. Sayang korang ah. and Sha was sweet enough to reply my nonsensical jetlag-inspired offline message to her. haha.. i love the quote babe. the pictures are on the way!
there's diz sharp pain on my right tonsil. it hurts :(


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i cant freaking sleep.. this jetlag is really getting to me! which i think,is totally weird. bcos this never happened to me the first time i went over to the states back in '04. why now.. are these signs of being an adult? gross. i cant sleep,i feel shittily lethargic. and i realized tat i didnt have much souvenirs for my colleagues since i planned to get a few more stuff @ mission for the 2nd time but it didnt happen for me. oh well.. maybe it served me right to not plan. then again,u cant please everyone right.. so im sorry to those who think my gifts are pathetic. anyway, 80stees are uber cool. i want! i especially love this hoodie.




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My trip to California was a hell of a rollercoaster-ride type of thing, combining physical & emotional weaknesses, pushing me to the limit. Yes yes, one can only ask so much from a holiday. Nevertheless, the greatest part of it was definitely to meet my dearest mum after a year plus of not being around each other. I love her so much..and she took good care of me when i was sick like shit. I guess you could say the trip was an enriching break and it's made me appreciate what i should in life. I shopped, but didnt drop. I think its what living alone does to you.. Before i feel even more like an old grandma, here are pictures for people who'd care. A word of warning, i look like a big tub of lard in most pictures. You can say its the biggest moment of realization for me to date. And okay,i'm working on it.
Enjoy :) (I din manage to edit a lot of the captions cos its 6.30am n i need my sleep..zZzz) view pictures here


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Greetings from San Diego :) Time here is 4.58pm, and we arrived about 7 hours ago. My head still feels heavy but we took a walk from henny's aunt's place & found ourselves at the public library. There's free internet service here so i guess i'll be able to update this thing here. It all still feels surreal and i had to blink twice when i saw the signages LONG BEACH & SANTA MONICA. Haha.. I wish he was here with me. Til the next entry~


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To suit the mood, i've changed my background audio to the song most definitive of my idea of a holiday, on an island in the sun =) - although our destination isnt exactly an island. Everything still feels surreal but im getting the last-minute jitters, the fear of forgetting something, only to realize when ur too far to go back. Yikes! But i think i'll be good to go..many many many thanks to my dearest boyfriend. He's helped me a hell lot.. Will be missing u babe. Then again, i'll be heading back home sooner than u noe ;)


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Today,i deeply sympathized with my dad's pain.. Regret is often stemmed from the incapability of fixing the damage our actions has beared us with. Anger fuels the heart, crumbling even the most egoistical man. He spoke to me. I saw his vulnerability, his unspoken desire to have a family, a comfort zone in where he can be there for me to make up for the mistakes he has unknowingly disappointed me with. Today,i looked into the eyes of the real person my dad has been hiding from me for the past 21 years...
i love u ayah..


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FREE Cone Day @ Ben&Jerry's last Wednesday was fun. I squealed at the sight of Strawberry Cheesecake being one of the flavours offered for FREE.. And doing the typical Singaporean thang, we queued. Leaving us to rush for the transport back to work and "bite" my lovely ice-cream. Boring!


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Planet Earth was close to enthralling. Yes yes, thanks to you my dear. So yeah.. Today was one of those utterly horrific days with brainless bloodsuckers. But i enjoyed my lunch @ the foodcourt with them colleagues..The rendang was ace. And the prank call was like freaking hilarious i got stitched up with stress-reducing laughter but was then shushed by the superior.. Ahh,a day in the life. What has also bugged me is the repeated-so-frequently-its-making-me-sick segments of the miss spore universe contestants. May i correct, James Dean quoted "Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today"..Not tomorrow. And why do you keep repeating it, kekurangan dialogue issit.. So yah. It might seem typical of an ugly girl like me to lash out on this but COME ONNN im so sick of seeing them hog the screens on my telly. Them being so "highly-educated", i cant understand why they'd choose to make a fool of themselves like that.. Tsk tsk tsk.. GIVE ME A BREAK!


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Precious and fragile things..need special handling..my god,what have they done to me.....

edited.


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It just gets really tiresome each day... with the attitude, the cold words, everything just crush my hopes even further.. what have i not done enough to even feel this ache in my heart. ..


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I miss school. With my wonderfully missed girl friends.. I'm hoping so much that the offer will turn out to be my sweet escape from here. Life is absolutely dreadful when you have to drag yourself to get up and be somewhere that makes you wanna vomit. Seriously.. But hey yay its ten days away and California is calling my way. Hey.


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Can someone please zap me to 26th April? I would find it convenient for many reasons, especially due to budget constraints that i have to endure until the big day. On another note, i think the thought of being away frm work is the best thing ever. woohoo


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Missed Live from Abbey Road last night cos i was engrossed with cold case..darn. But i do love Drew Barrymore's indierock-chic wardrobe in Music&Lyrics, she's gorgeously curvy and..loving it.




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Post-lunch snooze mode makes me wish im somewhere else, wiggling my toes in the sand, cool breeze in my hair. Bali 2008 sounds like a plan =)


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On Thursday,we had cheeEeesy lava pepperoni @ Pizza Hut. On Friday, yummilicious Fish&chipS @ Mad Jack (Jalan Kayu). On Saturday, we shared lipsmackingly yummy Unagi pizza & mochiko wings from Oiishi Pizza with my cousins. (which my couz & him burned off by jogging like two crazy people late at night). Hows that for a FILLED weekend? =) And up next is a Movie Marathon in the comforts of home. TheHoliday,NightmareB4Xmas,Jarhead,SinCity. Wee!


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Shame on you
For thinking that you're an exception


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Are you hoping for a miracle~
Bloc Party rocks my socks. and i hate OREOS cereal eaten without milk :X


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i wish my blog had a different name but somehow pitas doesnt allow sign-ups at the moment. =( tomorrow is another monday that's bloody routine im extremely dreading it. everything & anything sucks at work now. yeah if ur reading diz, gd for u. i just wish i could bash your little head. And then i wanna fall into deep slumber n wake up to 26th April. With him possibly. Who calls me Medicine like "the guy tat felyncia suka". *lol* aww! anyhoo, diz might b a tad late but a little bird spread word tat The Cure may be playing in Singapore in August. Woo-freaking-hoo!


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we had yummy mutton soup @ kallang today & it was fun. whats not is tat i bought a dress frm miss selfridge tho i know i have to save up for my trip. gosh. but den again, its cheaper tnx to my dad. hehe. i love my new yellow flowy dress =)=)=)


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It sucked that i missed watching the Rock&Roll edition of The Dancefloor. The snippets looked cute but i was kinda bummed that BFC turned out to b the first group to get voted out. Some of the other guys frm the crew were my friends frm secondary school days and so,i was quietly rooting for them.. What a disappointment. Nevertheless, today is still a stressful day.


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We had a great Sunday outdoors earlier today,accompanied with an awesome picnic by the swan lake. Being in touch with nature just left me feeling serene & the cute kids were beyond adorable. The day was sunny and he was delightfully chirpy it made me walk 8km without even realizing it. :) more pictures here..


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Am i the only one who didnt know that The Biggest Loser had a couple's edition? Gosh. Though i only caught the ending,it was super sweet to witness the idea of going thru weeks of gruelling exercise shit with your loved one,your fiance, to together push yourself & support each other. For a perfect wedding. I find that, inspiring... And speaking of the idiot box, the person who creates trailers for Channel-5 must be one huge MUSE fan. I swear its all i ever hear on tv.
And oh, ugly girls who flirt with younger guys at their d&d are so uncool. "muka you dari tepi mcm taufik batisah eh".. Pepek dah gatal sgt? Nenehpok.


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Work has been really mundane since yesterday cos our company's server was hit by a virus, causing the system to be down n all. Which of course meant that we couldnt do anything. It made me realize how dependent we all are on technology..
Sudden audio-cravings of nostalgic madness is made so convenient with the internet ard. (see what i mean about us & technology?) so yeah. I officially am in the mood for my Ataris.

stars are out tonight
and you're the brightest one shining in my sky.
it's like every wish I ever made came true.
the day I woke up lying next to you.

will you be my best friend
if I offer you my heart?
'cause it's already yours.
we could hang out every night
and watch the sun go down.
as long as we could watch it rise again.

gave me a valentine.
it's these little things that stand the test of time.
I've saved the tickets from the shows that we've been to.
and a thousand other memories of you.

gave you this i.o.u. today.
it said good for one galaxy.
once I build my rocket to the stars.
we'll fly away just you and me.


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Despite the really bad day i had at work, he made me stitched up with so much laughter it was comforting. And, the excitement for the trip built up when we found the factory outlet website. Woo-frikkin-hoo!!!! :):):)


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300 left me in awe beyond my expectations! The movie remake was as vivid as the graphic novel, filled with much pain as anyone would have expected and it was overall as moving as the legendary war tale itself. I've never been that much a fan of war movies but this one takes the cake.. Seriously,i would love to actually watch it again. again,again and again.. and i was near to tears when the father mourned. and when leonidas thought of his queen before the end. how contradicting for such chivalrous Spartan men to show such real emotions.. i like. if i were a critic, i'd give this gem of a movie, 10,000 popcorns!
Because only Spartan women give birth to real men.
:)


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This is my first time making travel arrangements on my own and its giving me the worst headache. I guess i've always been used to having my mum settle everything for me..Many thanks to serene though, she's been a great help.. :)
And hopefully today is the start of our double-movie-bonus. Cos,we're catching 300 today. and tomorrow, Music & Lyric. hopefully. yay~
I hate office irritants who think they know everything.


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im far too moody to blog. bleah.




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im itching to watch Paris Je T'aime. and 300. and Music & Lyric. Hmmmm....


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What a snoozy day it is at work today... Im scared. Of something which i shall not reveal here.. And its comical how some kiddy-minded girls just try too hard to make it look as if they're so much better off than i am, by telling me stuff which dont interest me at all. Its almost as if they think i'd grow green in envy for what they have. Wake up & smell the air sweethearts, i've been in ur shoes way before u have & you're instantly uncool by TELLING me & trying to prove that you're oh-so cool. Secondary school ended years ago honey..Pffftt.
On another note, i just found out that Subway has opened a branch in AMK Hub. Is that rad or what! And whats more rad was the black=pepper=beef=bacon sandwich loaded with honey mustard,mayo,chopped lettuce,green peppers,onions that faz & i made last weekend. i swear it tasted almost as good as the real thing!! which reminds me,perhaps i shall start to bring tat for lunch..... ;)


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I had the strangest dream last night.. and tears before sleep. I guess it really shits up my own mind when i have expectations of something.. I have been selfish to only carelessly arrow on everyone's bad points. And it makes me feel like a big pile of poop.. I was so wrong,so blind and i think its time to recollect myself to bring back the old Rene that i myself have forgotten about....


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its payday. and i`m in love with a dress :)




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I wished i had the answers to everything..Well probably not to everything (that would be freaky) but at least to some questions centered around people that i've met these past years..What a bummer. I clearly do not look forward to work tmr. and damn i hate those yearly appraisals. i hate it i hate it i hate it
Anyway is it just me, or is Muse's version of Feeling Good tinged with such sarcasm its bitter?
and i'm feeling,goood... shit yeah.


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Walking home alone today ,after countless weeks, was very quiet without him..He's switched back to working @ Goodwood. =more money? khekhe.. So yeah, i didnt took 804 cos i hate that damn bus. And then I bought keropok lekoh frm the pasar-malam outside GoldenVillage and happily but silently ate it by myself. *grins*
Tomorrow's the launch of the revamped in-house credit & I was peeved that we had to even edit the serial number template by ourselves..from 0001 to frikkin 1000. Whats worse,i had to do it all by myself. Pffftt! And so you could imagine how screwy my eyes became after that.....Work is now kinda tolerable with Mai ard. And we sneaked in waffle-with-ice cream into the office during snooozy mid-day today! That was super yummy..But the girl's so afraid of the mgr its funny.


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The thought of returning to work after the long holidays was indeed a drag.. But i surprised myself when i woke up super early having enough time to even prepare pasta for my lunch. Yummy! I guess 4 days away from work kinda rejuvenates oneself to look forward to start the day.. Hawhaw. One thing's for sure, last night's episode of Cold Case was one of the best & most saddest..and it left me teary-eyed throughout the show. The whole storyline was just heartbreaking, definitely an episode to remember! And the two girls who played the twins were like super adorable. They looked sad,helpless and so innocent it breaks your heart to see them hurt. It was set in the 60s, which i love, and as usual the whole melancholic direction of the show left me in awe. Its like CSI with an emotional quotient. I would so love to buy the complete DVD set if its available! Well,sigh now its back to boring work...


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You're a salty water, ocean wave
You knock me down,you kiss my face
I know the storms will always come
But I still love to have you around~

::g.s::


-------------

i beg your pardon? i never promised you a rosegarden.

i long for my mum's fried macaroni. and i cant believe it,but i did not spend my cash on any article of clothing this month. i think i got some kind of withdrawal shittiness when i was by mango the other day. fiak. well,here's hoping sentosa shall b nice to us tmr (out of the question). i feel like playing the EMO game frm 3 yrs ago. maybe i should do it,frm the start yo! that game is hella funny. one-armed scissor!! oh,oh,and happy lunar new year to all who celebrates! :)


-------------

Although i dont personally celebrate the holiday,i thought this picture suited the theme.
So here's wishing all my friends,

Have fun with the loved ones :)


-------------

what i would do,if i had a million dollars.
*bites nails*


-------------

I had a great time catching up with the girlfriends (including dhilah) earlier today..We had dinner @ BillyBombers and though the food rocked,i guess the best part was reminiscing about our silly antics during our schooling days. Haha..All those memories of skipping classes,eating in class during the fasting month (khekheke),crazy teachers who wore bright purple eyeshadow and teachers who had kutils and at times sulked,us enjoying weekly breakfast @ mcdonalds while skipping SW,skirts ripping and everything else! I laughed like a goon,thinking of how fun those school days were...
Apart from that,we had conversations in which we shared about life & love. And a girlfriend's recent relationship demise really reminded me too much of the post-breakup state i was in,3 yrs ago...Analyzing every single detail,word and action - not being able to accept how unsuspecting the decision came upon me. Feeling so much angst for the girl who replaced me,trying so very hard to hide behind smiles but break down to cry endlessly when i lay in bed all alone at night..Looking back,i never thought back then that i could survive the breakup and live my life without him...But here i am,healed as ever...
At the end,we agreed that when your boyfriend leaves you with your world crumbling down, the only people that you have left to turn to are nobody but your girl friends...And after listening to each other's accounts,we realized that even amidst happy days with boyfriends,its always important to treasure friends who have been with you thru thick and thin..Cos when love fails,there's nothing more comforting than to have a girl friend come down to meet you wherever you are and listen to you cry.....


-------------

Holy shit i am in love with this band! Their music,their style.
Thanks Juice :D




-------------

I found this top at a local boutique webby..and i've fallen head over heels for it..but sadly,its sold out. pfftt!


-------------

And so my new bed arrived..The mattress cost me about 9 which i think is worth the money cos its incredibly comfortable it sets you thinking about snoozing the day away when you lay down on it. *worries about waking up early on workdays* Bluek.. But it kinda makes me proud about myself. Like,the fact that i actually bought a bed with my own cash! Its quite rad if i must say so myself. Although its quite an affordable single daybed.. Now im all psyched to save up to buy bedsheets and a bedside table. HEHE
I wont post a picture of it for now cos its still tak handsome as i have no single-sized sheets just as yet. But here's one i got frm the IKEA website..

Hello SWEET dreams.


-------------

[ music: the streets - dry your eyes ]



Look what i got from Faz...a freaking Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Girls Live DVD. Recorded Live in Anaheim,California... <3<3


-------------

I dont understand why some would think i'm enjoying a happy and luxurious life.. In fact, most days its just far from that. And how full of envy i get to see my friends with their families.. little nephews,little nieces that they get to see & pamper every single day. Loving them,playing with them,buying them toys & seeing them smile and miss you. Coming home to a mum who asks you if you've eaten n then serve you food after your shower when you answer No.. Watching soccer or game shows with dad on the couch at home..Screaming at a younger sister whom you hate but get worried when she comes home late. How does all that feel? I can only wonder... It really sucks to live out on your own.... To come back home to a room where its just yourself most of the time. I would give up everything just to have a complete family around me.. My family,my happiness and joy.
Sadly,its only wishful thinking....


-------------

I realize that i have hurt her feelings by being brutally honest..and i know it was unethical to express my pain via a stupid blog. But one thing's for sure,i dont regret letting her know how i feel...


-------------

-------------

Enjoy my favourite song from Absolution!
Reality seemed wayy too nauseating for me. I dont understand whats even there? Sighs. And I guess some bitches think too highly of themselves to want to make their personal lives a big freaking deal. As if! But the plus point of my weekend was the high-tea @ sheraton towers with faz. The thing is, his godmum gave us a voucher and so we wined and dined without the wine. i so love the durian pudding! but too bad that old waiter perangai like kannasai. i also met my little handsome prince,baby adrian! he is adorable as always but i wished i live in a fantasy world where linda is sane enough to cut his long girlish hair. Ahahahaha.. Maybe he can grow hair as long as rapunzel and throw it down his window so linda dont have to take lift to 9th level everyday. If i had a son,i'd bring him to a barber and give him a faux-hawk and let him prance ard in vans shoes. *grins*


-------------

if i could escape and re-create a place in my own world, and I could be your favorite girl.. Forever,perfectly together~ Now tell me boy,wouldn't that be sweet?

i am so loving diz song & especially the videooo. woohooweehoo! and she makes black&white look even more chic. i want poofy bangs too please? i love gwen stefani!




-------------

[ music: muse - feeling good ]

birds flying high
you know how i feel
sun in the sky
you know how i feel
reeds drifting on by
you know how i feel
its a new dawn
its a new day
its a new life...

back on the fever again,i think i'll be talking about my Muse experience for the next following weeks cos when i listen to this song especially,it just reminds me how spectacular Bellamy sounded when he belted out this song as he played the piano on stage. and songs like this give me hope.. whatever that means?
so its a saturday & finally im enjoying my first taste of a five-day work week. yup. new office,new working hours.. cool kan! theyre subtracting one reason for me to consider. sighs. well,its a saturday too but im at home cos everyone else i know has work or plans. but its alright,cos i need to sort out a hell load of things in my room before i purchase my new bed come pay day. Weehoo!


-------------

[ music: rhcp - snow (hey oh) ]

The sight of the carwash trailer for The Dancefloor makes me want to regurgitate the contents of my stomach through my mouth. What a disgrace to witness her gyrating her insect-like thighs to the sounds of Supermassive Black Hole. It traumatized my weeknight tv experience the past few nights and im obviously bored at work right now. Sorry fans of Jade Seah,i know im a million trillion lightyears away frm being a "babe" like her but everyone's entitled to their own opinion right? :)


-------------

i think i'm gonna be nursing a MUSE fever for the rest of the week.


-------------

Pardon the bad-quality cameraphone pictures. MUSE was WICKED SHIT!!!!! Despite us being all sweaty n squished. In fact,it was a hell lot of fun and an experience i shall never forget - it was like seeing a life sized video on youtube plus they sound SO AWESOME live!!! and you have nonsensical ppl ard u which i must admit,end up being quite entertaining as they leave the space one by one. I pushed thru & was kinda thankful for my gig-going days. Woohoo! They played a lot of the favourites even really old songs like Sunburn and Faz says i rocked like a hurricane..HAHA! Well,i almost lost my voice but all i can say is that MUSE is definitely a gifted band and Matt Bellamy is one hell of a talented musician. The electrifying set just blew me away!


-------------

[ music: the spinto band - brown boxes ]

I almost banged my head on the keyboard when i found out that all of my downloaded Sims stuff has been completely erased thanks to uninstalling one of the expansions. I am so not an IT-savvy person and i just clicked endlessly without reading between the lines. Oh well whatever. But ok,tell me i've got no life,cos i felt quite sad that all my saved games are gone. Its like,gosh,all those time spent playing just swooshed down the recycle bin. Kannasai!! But nvm,i can always re-create. and yes, its ONLY A GAME..But like all games,SIMS is quite a hassle especially when u've built the houses frm scratch..pooofy poop!
Btw,i think i'm beginning to love baking. and Reese peanut butter chips are heaven sent!


-------------

[ music: goldfrapp - twist ]


this is my new desk @ work. i hope the requisition process for new pcs for us will be fast-forwarded. the only good thing about moving to Megastore is the feeling of finally being in a real and conducive office environment.. other than that, everything else sucks....


-------------

[ music: weezer - island in the sun ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PEANUT-BUTTER CUP. =) Sorry terlebih raspberry essence..
Yesterday was also our last day @ Bukit Timah as we will be officially resuming work @ Megastore on Monday. It was kinda melancholic and quite surreal,cos its like we've been talking about the day for so long and like finally its here.. I've never worked in an open-concept office with the rest of the support centre staff. Its weird. But well,we'll just see how long i'll last there........
On another note,i think im growing addicted to my own pasta and the minutes of bliss he grants me with. Yowza (!!!), Muse awaits on Tuesday.


-------------

im sleeping over @ henny's for the night,and its nice cos its been a hell of a long time since i was last here. kinda reminds me of our fun skooling days. *grins* and we caught the holiday (yes,very basi).. we loved it! nevertheless.. i just loved every single part of the movie for being completely realistic..i got teary-eyed and i dunno,i just felt all the emotions and reminded me that it'd b great to catch it with that special someone...it was heart-warming. and to that someone,im real sorry my hp battery died..sleep tight alright.....
bollocks to work. i already have enough things on my shoulder and its appalling that anyone could overreact over such a stupid mistake....sighs....


-------------

[ music: interpol - slowhands ]



My mum's nowhere to b found on MSN and here's what i end up doing,watching Interpol videos on youtube feeling euphoric as i sing along... and i must admit, thesideburns and the swinging ard in his snazzy suits still get me..
Daniel kessler is electrifyingly dashing. *grins*


-------------

[ music: modest mouse - float on ]

i love it when we laugh alot together.
hoping tmr'll be one of those days?

im so hungry & craving for nonsensical food its crazy. i wonder why some people are fading out of the picture..but if its any consolation,i'll be glad to spend a quiet birthday party with just a bunch of loved ones,eating pasta & watching dvds..the idea is so heartwarming its gay. but i'd love that. and please, muse is anything but indie. meluat nyer!


-------------

Had a nice time with faz @ vivo today,eating laughing chatting nearby a swedish ship. *grins* ..and i got myself a little pony. shes a pretty thing and i'm gonna name her Chloe. the nostalgia is getting to me...well,i am a 1985 kiddo.




-------------

[ music: the spinto band - did i tell you ]

The new year has only began 2 days ago,yet henny & me have had plans for our next new yr's eve. Haha.. and now i cant wait for 2007 to zoom by. its silly milly but i think it'd really be fun la! so ya,we were chatting and den the line got cut off cos the train went underground..sorry hun! see u soon for our girly movie-date. A new book frm borders,family guy on PS2 and SIMS-2 expansion sets makes me a very happy person. but it leaves me wishing i had more free time and that,is plain shittty. pffft....


-------------

[music: ziggy marley - drive ]

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all...
Do we really have to say goodbye to 2006 so soon? Its been one rollercoaster ride of a year for me...Mentally,Financially,Emotionally. and 2006 too has taught me so many things that i've never thought i could ever deal with,like living independently without my parents being ard 24/7. Staying with my cousins has been an experience of literally stepping into complete adulthood where we had to feed ourselves,do our own laundry and basically live it out by paying bills and everything. The boys have been great and i appreciate them very much... But god knows how much i miss having my mum ard. I suppose she makes me greatly look forward to 2007 cos she'll be coming home!!!! then we can have a super duper time celebrating hari raya together again with my super rad dad too. the only truest joy i feel...
The last time i ever wrote down New Year Resolutions was back in 2001 and the whole thing just completely put me off in the following years cos i think the only resolution we should all make is simply, TO QUIT PROCRASTINATING. How uncanny but true. I decided to throw out toxic relationships and im gonna stick to it. I don't care if it makes me look pathetic but please,i've had enough.....
So goodbye 2006,goodbye toxic acquaintances.
Hello New Year.


-------------

A faded friendship is the kind of unsound sorrow that will tug on your heart strings so silently you wished you could rewind time and re-play all the great memories over,and over again...i miss her.


-------------

[ music: chicane - no ordinary morning ]

Christmas is here,and its a bit hard for me to digest that we're actually reaching the end of another year. I cant comprehend how time moves increasingly faster each time, and most days i realize that im just barely breathing. I'll be reaching my prime age soon which means i need to start mapping out my future, at the same time deciding on what i would want to pursue in life.. I hope for many good things in 2007 and i think its about time i threw toxic "friends" & acquaintances out of my life. i needed a long overdue detoxification & i think this is the perfect time. yes,im a bitch. yes,im an unappreciative idiot who carelessly say wrong things which i never dreamt would have hurt anyone.
and considering the facts,yes i think i really am very much in love with faz.


-------------

i woke up late for work this morning and as a result,i`ve mismatched my outfit. not that i bother bout these stuff but yeah,its abit off today..
please get your facts correct before you bombard me with your misconstrued assumptions. And please, consider me dead cos I’ve had enough. i realize that I have indirectly made you hate me, and I admit that i have been careless. Hence i sincerely apologize for all the negative events/words/arguments. I wish you well, sufian..

I am gonna move to a new URL soon and for all those people who judge me cos they think they know what exactly went on behind closed walls, you can fuck off too.


-------------

[ music: sound of the rain outside ]

i`ve got my manhattan portage bag in black and i`m a happy camper. tho this flu/fatigue/fever is really bringing me down.. but hey, cold case is back on ch5!! and that`s another thing to smile about.


-------------

[ music: the killers - change your mind ]



*grins widely* i hope to be entertained by their older songs & lets be an ugly singaporean and queue early so we can squeeze in to the front to see matt belamy work the stage? =)
Girls out loud is simply a total waste of airtime. rosalyn is cool in her own way but paired with that ah lian blogger makes them look like The Simple Life wannabes. and i think ros is too cool for that...
this weekend is shitzy as i've fallen sick. im guessing its due to my lack of rest as my body feels so worn out & aching as soon as i got hm frm work today. yeah,it was the grand opening of our new megastore @ tampines. hella crowded. and i stood 1metre away frm kelly rowland who i really envy for having neverending legs. didnt get to take a pic cos my digi was in the office. so after tat i spent 4 hrs standing,issuing mp3 player pouches to customers who queued up to purchase it for a dollar. anyways,i owe henny a lot for tolerating the squabbles yesterday. if ur reading diz hun,me lurf u tau. and she's super sweet cos she actually gave me a personal bday pressie of a framed cross-stitch piece tat says You're a gem of a friend. i was like really touched when i opened it up!! and alfred gave me chocolates which i think is such a temptation when im reminded of my weight gain. but i still eat.. cannot tahan!! siaks.


-------------

[ music: goldfrapp - black cherry ]

Xmas gift exchange/Potluck party in the office was typically filled with food,food and even more food!! Which was great..and my manager ordered sushi!! although by that time most of us were very much stuffed. and i received yet another mug while the gift tat i contributed was actually a pretty-looking 2007 planner frm Borders. i was hoping tat a girl wud receive it but in the end abg jasman got it which is good rather than seeing sum1 i hate,unwrapping my gift. =)
and the eating didnt stop there..while we were @ my place and he was busy playing kingdom hearts,kai my couz actually surprised us with a one-course dinner with candles n all!! sweeeeet rite. it really surprised me & i got like tak kena gaya but whoah,the codfish was so yummilicious. he recently graduated frm shatec so tat explains his fine knowledge & he truly has my respect cos he's got that great passion to prepare detailed & wonderfully tasty dishes for his friends & family. and now that includes me! yay. thk u angah ur a sweetie! i cant post up pictures that i took yet cos my digicam's with faz as he's gonna collect his NRIC tmr @ camp. yeah, ord-oh~ FINALLY KAN.


the dish of the night. i stole this picture frm kai's friendster :P

on another note,i wanna get diz small manhattan portage bag. its perfect for travelling & trips to the zoo/sentosa and what not..yay

-------------

[ music: interpol - say hello to the angels ]

it was a pleasant surprise to still receive birthday pressies frm my favourite credit officers abg jasman & kak liza..yay! he got me a weekend bag frm everbest whereas she surprised me with a bottle of AnnaSui's Secret Wish perfume. the bag looks bohemianishly pretty but im still thinkin of what to wear to match it with..and the perfume,is understatedly heart-jumping cos its by my favourite super rad designer! and i've never been strayed frm dollygirl so diz was really awesome. dhilah gave me heels for work too!! i updated the pictures in here cos i dont want to look like a brat to post it up here. =P
i guess this birthday proved who genuinely cared n who just dont bother at all..its not abt the material items but its made quite obvious as to who my true friends are...i luv u all,u know who u are..Thank you for everything =)




-------------

*my heart does a somersault*
16th January 2007!!!!!!


-------------

[ music: yeah yeah yeahs ]

this song still makes me cry.
now,i can relate to it on how i miss my mum...




-------------

[ music: dht - i go crazy ]

i try..and i try. but i end up falling down over & over again,bruising myself with each verbal attack. whats in it for me? i wish i had all the answers to everything in diz world, i wish i could quit all the noise - i hurt thinking of how much i've sacrificed..the amount of effort i've put in...what is it that im not doing right....


-------------

[ music: le tigre - im so excited ]

my birthday celebration was super sweet..i had a luvly cake,luvly people to celebrate with & most definitely luvly pressies la! the girlies got me a dress frm women's secret which i love,linds got me a top frm forever21,sha my sec skl bestie got me a bottle of escada perfume,my couz gave me a diamondish necklace frm chomel..among the other gifts tat i was presented with by colleagues & family members. needless to say,i was all smiles thru out the weekend! alhamdulillah.. zoom here to see some of the gifts.
and i wanna thank the people who made it happened. to the boys who slogged & drove us ard, u guys & girls noe who u are..love u all!


the chocolatey ice-cream cake frm meridien hotel which was given to me as a gift from faz's ibu..:)


-------------

thank you to my dearest friends for the well wishes. you guys rock. and ya,saggittarians rock too kan din! had a nice time shopping wit henny & her colleague ayu. who i rmb is actually rori's friend.. so yeah. i'm 21 but it still feels the same..and i think its a sign of oldness when it totally slipped my mind that my bday was diz week. nyeh!


-------------

[ music: the cure - a letter to elise ]

im feeling down today. the annoying words & shouting kip ringing in my ear. tho its the stupidest thing anyone could argue about,the imbecile truly was a luckier bitch than me. but im ok,cos i still have my friends. we shall swim n enjoy ourselves k girls!
and tis morning b4 i went to work,i found a photo album in my dad's cupboard which i nosily flipped open..and in it was their wedding pictures. my mother looked amazingly beautiful and the glowness in her face made me imagine how happy she must have been on that day.. it made me think of the hopes she had for the future,of starting a new family with the man she loved with all her heart not expecting the worse tat was abt to fell on her... tears welled up in my eyes but i suppose Allah has his almighty reasons...and life goes on..


-------------

[ music: ash - meltdown ]

trips to jb are fun. but i miss my mum.. n even tho i have to settle with a red streak instead of ash blonde,i luv the thot of it n i dream of better days where things go my way. im delirious, yay.


-------------

[ music: the killers - bones ]

why do i have to remind myself to b happy. why do i cry til my eyes get puffy over a boy. its just one of those things tat i will never comprehend.. in addition to that,i feel i must learn to appreciate life & whats in store for me. embrace changes positively, love myself before others...

Note to self: STEP UP, QUIT PROCRASTINATING.

you got me twisted

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
you're irreplaceable


-------------

[ music: my vitroil - always your way ]

i loved the surprise..and i`ve reached a point where i meet my emotional self yet again..consumed with the great fear of a bad memory repeating.. fearing for my heart,i become extra sensitive and it pricks me with hurt just as much as it does to you..the feelings are overwhelming and looking back at my past,it scares me so much i get really paranoid about losing everything that i have now....i hate to be in this position..i need to find a grasp....


-------------

[ music: blur - you're so great ]

i'd like to chop off my long fringe to bangs! assymetrical bangs r supercute but it needs to b rebonded. i've had the sideswept bangs for ages & i think thick choppy bangs that covers the eyebrows looks great with long hair. tu cam my exact hairstyle back in primary5. but i like. and yeah,i miss my long hair.. today is another boring wednesday and i am craving for another plate of san remo's pasta with the yummiest toppings. and the white chocolate mcvities. Food,glorious food. which reminds me,2nd dec is fast approaching..YIKES! and reddish pink nail polish looks pretty with my new pappillio birkies la. yay
you're so great, and i love you.


-------------

[ music: placebo - a song to say goodbye ]



brittany murphy is undeniably my mossttt favorite actress. she`s beautiful,edgy & in addition to that,she's BELO. hahaha. and i love the roles she picks. yay for her!


-------------

[ music: the cardigans - erase/rewind ]

i close my eyes,and all i see is you. heurgh! im a silly dodobird bcoz i know what pisses me off and i still continue to give the person d ability and when i get pissed,i get this uncontrollable tug in my chest that makes me just flare with anger. i noe what she speaks of him to her friends..i noe how stupid but true his love was. and it hurts when i ponder over it in my head. so why do i still think of it? pfft. but 16th nov is approaching & it reminds me tat wats mine is mine aper. kannnnnn


-------------

[ music: the spinto band - oh mandy ]

i would like to add another item to my wishlist..a supercool black vest!! that i can wear with a white cotton tee n denim miniskirt with my black onitsuka tiger shoes. i want...!! saw one at miss selfridge d other day while shoppin for henny's gift with nano so i decided to check d website..and like wow,i LOVE the online boutique. i practically adore ALL the stuff in it. Yea..im in one of those materialistic moods..Check it out yo.
miss selfridge


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My 21st birthday is approaching..November 30th [mark the date on ur calendars] and in the shameless anticipation of receiving surprises frm loved ones, i thought i'd dream up a wishlist...*grins*

BIRTHDAY WISH LIST
- flare dresses (zara,topshop,mng,whatever)
- flare blouses (zara,topshop,mng,whatever)
- bags/purses from Accessorize - the stuff there makes me go loco. (not to b mistaken with XCESSORIES)
- KILL BILL vol 1 & 2 dvd, the simpsons dvd.
- ballerina-styled pump flat shoes
- notebooks/2007 diaries frm borders
- vintage tshirts frm Queen's Couture

The clothes for work can probably be settled with the 0 giftcard my dearest colleagues presented to me. Yeahoo! Sorry to some..It seems that most of my girl friends r attached la.


-------------

[ music: gwen stefani - wind it up ]

The greatest news of the week is how Britney Spears has finally filed for a divorce against her pathetic excuse for a husband. We actually rejoiced when we caught the segment on the news. HAHA.. and last night was superbly sweet,he brot me to Birkenstocks and got me a pair of pretty Papillio florida sandals! I wanted colorful zigzag prints but he said it looked too common & so we settled on the black n white. We went in n out of the shop cos he made me decide between d black/gold puma watch or sandals..of course being a girl,i want both la kan. sampai sales girl also ask him, "why,she dun like the print arh?" ..Yes,yes,indecisive me. *cue bratty expression* But i lurfffff.. THANK YOU DEARIE, I <3 U.
Will post pictures when i get hold of my dgcam later. Oh, and come bonus,im gonna get another pair of onitsuka tigers..The one with purple n green stripes!


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These kind of people amuse me.




-------------

even sims have nice hair.




-------------

[ music: fiona apple - criminal ]

and so i decided to just show the babydollish dress tt i got @ zara. he liked it alot & said i could also use it one fine day when i finally qualify for maternity leave. kannasai! but ok lah, whatever.. but speaking of Zara, the rudeness of one staff towards my colleague makes me think tt some of the female staff there are ugly witches who should just kerja at this fashion. CUSTOMER ORIENTED MY ASS. and i bought shoes for work. settled for low-maintenance heels but in the end i still got blistered. :(


-------------

[ music: the strokes - juicebox ]

ulcer on the tongue spoils my apetite & pms is overwhelming but i love dear friends. especially shariffah my best friend way back in sec school who recently gave me a luvly testimonial & offered help for my bday thingy. aku rindu our crazy moments of secondary years wit the rest lah..time kita umur fourteen n fifteen yrs old nak membesar then dgr mxpx & take neverending neoprints. those days were the best! teehee..
my recent purchase @ zara was meant to b a surprise surprise look what im wearing for 24th month but im gettin quite hyped tho at the same time pondering over doubts. i seriously neeeed to start jogging again. but no kaki cos my jogging partner now dah marry then she`s like quite tied up.. when is anybody ever gonna invent a huge phonebooth-like fatburner machine. like those in movies where u go in a fat person and then cue all the dramatic smoke & vibration n the person transforms into a skinny bone with oversized clothes...cliche but alangkah bestnya? heh....


-------------

How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I'm sorry for the things I've done
But when I start to try to tell you
That's when you have to tell me
Hey, this kind of trouble's only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth

Why can't you see this boat is sinking
Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...
Why


-------------

[ music: sounds frm the tv ]

Finally my brand new pc is up & looking spiffy!
I had most of the essential programs installed right here earlier thanks to the dearest. and we cooked double-patty burgers which we devoured with pepper fries cos we were very gelojoh. hwahahwa..
It feels so good to finally be adding an entry in the comforts of my room and not rushing to type when im in our small & stinky office which has a pantry & storage area crammed inside. style kan. sometimes it kinda excites me when i think abt moving to the megastore.. it'd b a whole new experience. Anyways,I changed my layout cos i wanted sumtin fresh..and dont it look pretty? Hehe. i got the bckgrd frm tillyness & it does look like the years of blogging has made me quite inclined in html. well,did try to get a new pitas account but the service not available then they promoted diaryland. pundek.. But tis ok. OC is on the idiot box..and i have to say,Adam Brody & Rachel Bilson looks too cute together. i jealous.


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[ music: the cure - high ]

Heart is becoming the most talked about movie & the song is also quite romantic eh. i`m still trying REAL hard to get the other journal thing right. the exact reason that put me off it 3 yrs ago.. the override codes thingy got so icky its making my brain tick.
and i slept late doing stuff on the pc. as i uploaded 782 images frm my camera,i observed the pictures moving quickly n i thought to myself if it resembled the flashbacks people get when theyre dying...i felt intrigued cos the different pictures moved fast..and i saw the faces of the people in my life, triggering memories of past events.
i was freaked.


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[ music: force vomit - selera raya ]



Mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya to all my dear Muslim friends & family thru out the joyous month..! I know i sound like those irritating minahs who call in to radio stations & speak english&malay irritatingly but pardon my malay lah k.. Minta maaf zahir & batin atas segala kesalahanku sepanjang ni..Termarah ker,termaki ker..minta maaf k..Halalkan makan & minum ku and jgn lupa jemput aku dtg rumah korang k! :)
Merindui juga ibuku yg tersayang..Walaupun kiter tk dpt bersama di pagi raya besok,ibu akan sentiasa diingati..

Salam lebaran,
Rene Harlyanie


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[ music: radiohead - high&dry ]



The spontaneous candlelight dinner was super awesome.. *grins* Well,i cooked and he surprised me by setting up the makeshift table in my room with a lit vanilla-scented candle. We shopped @ coldstorage & ended up buying food that completed every course of a meal. Haha..Not sure if starters or appetizers are the same thing but heck,it was one of the best meals i ever had with my dearest B.F =)

Appetizers: grilled hotdogs
Starters: potato garlic cream soup
Main course: macaroni&cheese topped with pesto & shredded cheese
Dessert: Blueberry yoghurt

pics taken by fazmi. <3<3


-------------

[ music: the killers - when you were young ]

this song gives me the right dosage of chirpiness to kickstart the day.! dunno eh. i like lah the song.. and i finally got myself a brand new personal computer with the financial assistance frm my mum, help of fazmi, his friend Yap & my cousin..=) they source it for me @ simlim square while i was at work and im so happy coz it totalled up to only abt 1500+ which is like super worth it lah. they seem to b jealous of my pc cos according to them,they picked out the best for me..i could really get used to diz? *grins*
then in the evening i dropped by causeway point to get my hair trimmed & i left the salon with a razor bob! haha. i decided to call it tt cos its really short (well,it is for someone who's had long hair for 2 effing years!) and anyway,concave sounds icky. whatever it is i think it looks quite ok..fairly decent. and abg jasman is back from thailand! waseh. he got me chewing gum & an adorable brown/pink [my fave color combi] furry teddy bear frm swensens that has a tag with HUG ME written on it. He said he got it in a pack with other bears he's gonna give his nieces. Cute lah the bear,i love!





-------------

wentworth miller is my thursday boyfriend too..his eyes are so pretty i dream of staring into them all day. sighs.


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i lurve this wallet. wonder if its available @ flash..




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[ music: the killers - when you were young ]

The weekend confirmed that a cow never changes its skin. imbecile,u dont cease to surprise me..i dont wish to make further comments but wow,what a feeling...
Spring-cleaning day was great cos i re-arranged the furniture in my room. sincerely sorry for the dust tho..xoxo. the room looks cosier so now i cant wait for the pc & also stencils to b painted. yeahoo! dinner with the girls was enjoyable as always..except for that taxi driver's heartless act of cheating us. it is simply appalling at how he had the nerve to do such a thing during bulan puasa. grrr!! and btw,dhilah & radin joined us & with them ard,we had more fun laughing & making stupid jokes. hehe.. happy 23rd to *wink wink*, i adore you! :)


>> calling calling, in the middle of tkc



>> makcik shida & yours truly



>> girlies with radin & dhilah

<3<3


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[ music: rivermaya - you'll be safe here ]

I dont noe what is it with me & this song but..Wouldnt it b best,if the guy i love gets up on the stage with his band..straps on his guitar,adjusts the microphone and starts off with "This song goes out to my fiancee,Rene Harlyanie.." points to my direction and our eyes meet. then his band starts to play and he begins singing the first few verses of this song..hahahahaha..*EARTH TO RENE* i think i watched WALK THE LINE way too many times..well,a girl can dream rite? =P


(: "johnny cash & june carter" :)

so yea,i managed to drop by IKEA with dearest shammie yest..despite my banging headache! i felt so shittily nauseous too & it didnt help when i saw godzilla's g-string. NEON PINK SUM MORE! sesungguhnya aku berpuasa.. but it was seriously gross when i saw it peeking frm her pants. bluek.. i kinda respected shammie for sticking to her principles instead of kissing ass. i mean,its not like they're the royal family & even if they are,they dont deserve to b so judgemental & petty to my best friend! haiz. and i bought a really cute cushion. just cos its cute. the exact impulse buying behaviour ikea & daiso does to u. haha.. gonna meet the girlies today,at geylang! the raya mood is really getting to me,and i bought a purplish pretty thai-silk baju kurung the other day. cantik! but its kinda big so maybe i might have to get it altered a little.. and im sending my mum the gift today. gosh,i miss her!


-------------

[ music: fiona apple - across the universe ]

Faz kind of me gave me semangat raya when he suggested to help me do some springcleaning and paint my room!! I instantly became excited when he suggested painting wit butterfly/starry stencils & i dont know, the thought of makeover-ing the room wit my B.F is the bestest thing ever! and so yeah,im gonna have to go ikea soon to get d storage boxes & spotlight to source out for stencils and also material for the sofabed. I just hope we have enough enthusiasm to make everything happen..*grins*


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[ music: the cardigans - carnival ]

Blythe Doll photography is cute.
Can i have one for my birthday?



you,me & dupree looks like a lot of fun to watch. i wanna catch it! with cuddly arms & sweetsalty popcorn. *grins* anyway,i think some asswipe stole the sandals tt i got frm topshop. its nowhere to b found & i doubt its inside the hse either.. are these people so deprived tt they cant even afford sandals of their own? its plain pathetic. anyways, check out ->> squeaky monkey


-------------

[ music: sade - by your side ]

i indulged a tad too much in retail therapy this month..yeah I know,what’s new.. but i guess i was getting into the raya mood. which is weird considering how its only been our 2nd week into ramadhan. maybe im just tryin hard to cheer myself up to forget the fact tat my mum wont b in spore for hari raya this year.. IT TOTALLY SUCKS. I miss having her ard.. so much. and it pricks my heart when me & dad talk abt her & laugh at her lovable ways. we could have still been a family…..and knowing that, hurts. im trying my best to deal with everything tats been goin on in my life.. all the sacrifices, all the pain – I almost feel jaded.

one of these days this wedges are gonna walk all over you.




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[ music: at-the-drive-in - one-armed scissor ]

john tucker must die was a ball to watch! i was truly entertained by the characters despite the cliche teen flick plot & well,it has been a while since i caught a gd highschool movie. so it was all gd.. and john tucker reminded me of u ONLY when he was super sweet to the kate girl. its like wow,he knew all the right things to do to make a girl feel special. and i terthot of u lah. for what its worth,it was nothing more than a casual compliment...
on a sicker note,im in need of a hair fix. i miss my longish hair. it made me feel messy & indie like the donnas' vocalist. wakaka.. and i often had gd hair-days. now,i wont even say...

hello old tresses



-------------

[ music: portishead - all mine ]

The day at sentosa was great fun altho the rain kinda brot us down just a little bit. No,we didnt drop by to sunbathe but we spent the day walkin ard n checking out the newly refurbished attractions. He was adorably chirpy & i still cant stop laughing when i think abt the peacock incident. Like bodoh seh. Haha.. Dinner at simpang bedok wit d family was awesome last night. And abg Is shared with us the gd news abt how they clinched the position of performing at Momo on thurs,fri & sat nites. Yeah,he plays in a band with his wifey & mates. How cool is that?? But both him & my dad keep urging me to get d refurbished imac notebooks which r cheaper but just as good. The temptation of having a notebook is sooo,BEST but i think a desktop would be more practical for a girl like me who dont really fuss too much wit pc knowledge. Dunno lah.. The Thai staff are so perky its irritable. But i guess theyre nice... and the bbq held at the chevrons rocked,simply cos they had a chef to grill the food for us..*grins* I`ll b catching The Break-Up with shammie diz thurs nite @ nokia starlight cinema so yeah,i`m looking forward to that.. i miss my ibu dear. i`m gonna surprise her with a cd with raya songs so hopefully tat can be done asap. i love,love,love. :) oh and seriously,that chasing cars song is annoying the socks off me.


-------------

[ music: the killers - when you were young ]



>> pretty pretty pretty...

I found this french home decor website which has made me fall so in love with all the prints & designs! Everything frm their furniture,lamps,textiles,wall decals are SUPER PREEEETTY im swooning. I really adore the pretty baroque decals & japanese flower prints... The colours are perfectly ME & i would sooo love to decorate my own home with their craft. *daydreams of having my own superbly whimsical & classy apartment* Haha.. bring ugly home to Singapore,pretty please?


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[ music: the scissor sisters ]

I thought of a perfect name for a new account but its simply irritating how different versions of it have all been selected. and what BITES is tt these users no longer update their accounts!! what morons. today i stood all the way frm tampines to clementi in the train n im appalled tt it only took me 40 snappy minutes. COOL YAR?! Yar Yar. today going sentosa Yar? oh,and i bumped into osheana. hehe! im surprised she still recognizes me.. well okay,its back to work for me...happy fasting kids.


-------------

[ music: dido - here with me ]

Ramadan has kicked off but coincidentally it clashes with my 7-moody-days period. Hence im still unable to fast but then again,it makes no difference cos its not like i can happily eat outside..hurhur. Hady Mirza was crowned our Singapore Idol for 2006! After all the nonsensical voting conspiracy that circled ard the ones who couldnt sing,Singapore finally got it right. And i squealed in excitement when Taufik Batisah came on stage for the finals. Yeah,he's still as dreamy as ever when he sings...three hoots for Taufik~! Im swamped with assignments again. This week i`ve to prepare an idiot-proof step-by-step credit manual. Its abit mind-numbing but well,which job isnt....


-------------

[ mood: sleepy/tired ]



i enjoyed my 2nd d&d,which is weird considering how i really wasnt looking 4ward to it. haha! i guess its surprising how things end up being awesome when u dont have any expectations of it ever being gd..Somehow our dept decided on dressing in PUMA apparel so that worked out as well. Kumar brightened MY night with his stand-up & glam dancing. He is like the sexiest draq queen ever! I was so stitched up in laughter tat i could feel my cheeks being overstretchedly tired. how weird is that! and yeah,the food was a lil more tasty than last year's..or was it the company? we stayed for the dancefloor but by tat time my camera's battery had died so we cudnt take pictures with d girls frm legal dept..But it was all goood. and i ended the night watching The Beatles' movie on ch5. =)


-------------

[ music: muse - knights of cydonia ]

UPCOMING EVENTS

- 2nd Employee Day (19th Sep 2006)

- Annual Dinner & Dance (21st Sep 2006)

- Beginning of Ramadan (24th Sep 2006)

- Sakae Sushi with Shammie (dunno when)

- Getting my new PC after payday 26th sep

- BBQ @ The Chevrons (27th Sep 2006)

- Hari Raya!!

- 16th November & December *wink wink*

- My 21st Birthday Celebration (2nd-4th Dec)


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[ music: coldplay - the scientist ]

Last night i had dinner with one of my dearest besties @ tamp-mall which was nice cos i was sooooo craving for pasta..and the feminine bitchtalk was therapeutic..!! Maybe we should all go on a holiday 2gdr again yeah? I seriously need a break.. and things just practically SOURED for me when i reached "home"......its really sad. and i missed having my own home,my own comfort zone....


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[ music: muse - stockholm syndrome ]

i think im getting d dreaded tonsilitis again..my gums are swollen,my throat hurts when i drink & omigosh how i hate diz feeling..... so yeah,we`ve decided on an identical brand co-ordination for our d&d outfits & im hoping it works. diz year's theme is "a nite of sporting champions"...i actually loved the whole greek olympian idea wit the toga dresses & gladiator outfits but the rest of our dept wasnt too keen on d rental price so we hadta scrap that idea. but its all good..and i bought a PUMA top for myself. Which should b worth it considering how we walked frm suntec to cityhall mrt via millenia walk,marina square & citylink mall. It took us like half an hour!! My legs hurt like a bitch & i was so worn out, yet i still decided to entertain myself with video games on the ps2 before sleeping...*grins widely*...looking at his pictures makes me miss baby adrian =(




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[ music: portishead - sour times ]




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[ music: jimmy eat world ]



i know what you want to say
i know it but can't help feeling differently
i loved you
and i should have said it
but tell me,
just what has it ever meant...

i can't help it baby,
this is who i am
sorry but i can't just go turn off how i feel
you kill me
you build me up,but just to watch me break
i know what I should do but i just can't walk away..


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[ music: muse - dead star ]

our trip to changi airport turned out to b redundant and i bought a hairband for some reason im not quite sure of.. the swensens dinner was nice,probably bcoz it was a meal paid on the co's expense? hehheh. d&d is coming but im so not looking forward to it. especially since its held at such a boring venue & the dress theme is super-lame. its gives me dat tiny speckle of excitement only cos we`re workin on wearing something identical which we`ll juz hafta wait & see wat happens yeah.. today i hope we get to dine @ marche (marketplace or whatever they call it now) as planned. *grins*


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[ music: thrice - deadbolt ]



i realized i had a soft spot for paul twohill..i noe he dont sing well but he seemed like a nice kid. i was listening to glenn & FD's interview with him diz mornin and just like the rest of us who loved emo 3,4 yrs back, he described it as poetry in music which teenagers can relate to. i kinda agree coz i used to b one of dose teenagers..muahaha..all that songs of broken hopes,bleeding hearts & stars in the skies. *LOL* and i used to dig curtain-haired boys with tight pants..but that was of course,3 years ago.."once an emo kid,always an emo kid"..pui!! this song goes out to u paul twohill!!!! for being yourself altho u seem poseurish. but den again,ur 17 so i guess its understandable. much love!


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[ music: the cardigans - carnival ]

Can i have a Blondie tee frm queen's couture for my birthday? Thoroughly enjoyed my leave even though the morning started off a bit screwish. But what the heck,im jus gonna go with the flow frm now on.. So i did went to d fashion bazaar sale & it turned out rather disappointing. Everything lived up to the word "clearance" and the cheap clothes were of miniscule sizes for anorexic girls!! And so i left the place with nothing in hand.. But it was all good..and i met Shammie~! Which was nice cos we got to catch up after a long time & gossip on irritating budak2 scene..She's on attachment now so yeah,hung out wit her @ taka and i had junk food as my lunch+dinner. i love love takopachi,so much tat i tink i can eat it every single day for the rest of my life & wont ever get sick of it..hehe. and after walkin ard town,i bot a wallet @ borders. yeah,out of all places..but it looks cute & im just gonna use it temporarily cos at the moment im still lazy to wash my favorite wallet..heurgh!




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[ music: head automatica - beating heart baby ]


Gosh i loved diz song so much when i was in wisconsin..has it really been more than 2 yrs already? Bleagh.. Anyways,our predictions were true. Three years ago during a snoozy free period in the classroom,we talked abt out of the four of us who`s gonna get hitched 1st,2nd & so forth. And yeah,as predicted Nani turned out to b the first one to b married & we attended her wedding during the weekend. She got herself an older husband & even tho she's pudgy now (just like the rest of us),i think they look super cute & suited together. We got her a luvly negligee as a wedding gift so,*wink wink*
Its such an overwhelming blissful feeling to b at a wedding & witness the sights&sounds of a celebration of love between two individuals. it leaves me wondering abt how my wedding would be like......and so yeah,met only some of my ex-classmates but it was still great. And it seems that most of us piled on the pounds after leavin skl. liana said that she din recognize me b4 yest when she saw me near our neighborhood. "nak tegur,tapi takut salah org..takkan rene tembam mcm gini"...double bleargh! SIGH. after the wedding,we ended the day with starbucks coffee near home & a mini-shopping spree at esprit. weee! shopped the day b4 too wit lins @ bugis n in exasperation,i ended up buying a leather bag @ accessorize. i think i've overspent (whats new) yet again. but i love love girly outings =)

zoom here for --> nani's wedding pictures.


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[ music: death cab for cutie ]



Love of mine,someday you will die.. But I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark.. No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white. Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark.. If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, and illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark....


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[ music: yeah yeah yeahs - rich ]

sometimes in a person's life,they tend to become disgustingly vain & egoistic when they go through progressive changes. for example,achieving a new super-sexy bod due to massive weight loss,or being assigned with a new job task & bigger responsibility.. i have seen these changes in people ard me n its as irritating as it gets. u also kinda wonder if u might b just like em if u experienced it urself. Confidence is a good quality to possess but in diz case,it becomes a killer..and suddenly their gd points just dissappear,making themselves sound like shallow self-centered airheads. *heurgh*
whatever it is,karen-o is uber rockin`.




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[ music: ok go - a million ways to be cruel ]

Lately i began to realize that i am one hell of an attention-seeker when im with my loved ones/friends..I guess its an "only child" trait that's been transfixed in me for the past 20+ years..It gets ugly when i kip wanting ppl to focus their attention on me & get upset when they dont. Wellllll..in my defense,it only happens occassionally laa ok.. Something tells me the dude swings the other way..Or probably even both ways? Hehehe. I must admit tho that the handsome gay men of today are hella attractive... Im lusting for Davidoff echo & Nokia N73. and dat black.gold puma watch...As always,i wish for so many things...*makes sad face*


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[ music: the kooks - she moves in her own way ]

im having a MAJOR headache..*cringe*


-------------

[ music: the arctic monkeys on radio ]

Had a traditional indian rice on banana leaf lunch @ Karu's earlier today..and im still so full its making me want to snoOoOoze. im still in d office..yawning uncontrollably. but yeah,gonna head home after diz...Linda was suspected of getting apendicitis so hope she gets better..One thing u didnt noe abt me - i had my appendix removed at age 6..sca-ry. I even have the scar and it still freaks me out how i got a part of my body removed..Muahaha tat sounded so airhead-ish of me..Neways,i ran into henny in the bus last night but by the time the blardee nyonya got off the seat,it was alrdy abt a few stops away frm henny`s place. she managed to tell me abt diz cutie who was @ her wp looking for a gift for the gf. tho i din get to c d guy,thinking abt it was like wow, what a plus..a cute tanned muscular guy who's also sweet enuf to wanna get his girl lingerie. *wink Wink to someone* haha... yeah i noe he almost did the same d other time.. but tats another story for another day and now i wanna get out of diz place. Later~


-------------

[ music: the cranberries - linger ]

ANTM is back!..and i like molly sue altho i noe who won. hehehe! there's nothin better than vegging out in front of the telly after a long snoozy day at work. I wont waste my oxygen to even rant about Singapore Idol coz since the day tat Mathilda got voted out,i realized dat its all a BIG JOKE and we cant do nothin bout it coz teenyboppers got their fingers glued on the keypad voting with the MUTE button on their tellys. im back on ps2 again so time at hm seems shorter but at least it`'ll keep me busy. IMF duty will steal alot of our time til November but i promise i shall b patient..and we will look forward to more wonderful positive things together. haha.. ..Things have since took a winding turn & i wont look back at the shadows of the past..i'll walk away and i'll embrace the future. sighs. diz is my life & i'll strive hard to make it work.. i still wanna watch click!! stoopid jubilee. but tokyo drift was worth it la.. i miss girly outings. i miss hanging with hasli. and eating takopachi with shammie. <3


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[ music: teriyaki boyz - fast and furious tokyo drift ]



Tokyo Drift was awesome! Far more interesting than i had expected,judging frm the first two fast & furious movies. The cars were like /SUPERCOOOOOL/SUPERFASSSTTT/ and the movie came in sync with our dream of holidaying in Tokyo,shopping at Harajuku. Sigh,Japan is like so cool.. and if we get there we can also get to see Hard Gay! Hahaha.. But now im stressed as i`ve got to prepare standard of procedures & flowcharts for d senior. pffft,wats new...

I wonder if you know
How they live in Tokyo
If you see me then you mean it
Then you know you have to go
Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)
Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

*lol*......


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[ music: keane - this is the last time ]

sometimes we just blindly give..and give..but almost always,we end up getting nothing in return.

This is the last time
That I will say these words
I remember the first time
The first of many lies
Sweep it into the corner
Or hide it under the bed
Say these things they go away
But they never do...


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[ music: yellowcard - lights & sounds ]



I am brimming in extreme happiness bcoz..ROY & MY IBU HAS SENT ME D CHEQUE! Woo fucking hoo~!! They've given me 900 USD n i think tats equivalent to abt 1600+ or somethin,i cant rmb. So yeah,im gonna be getting a new pc after i deposit the cheque. *smiles & hugs myself*

The ex is going thru a rship problem & actually confided in me. Was it a move made to prove that he has moved on? Okay dude,i think i got the idea..there's no need for u to emphasize on how you two are so in love when she herself is committed to someone else. Tats like the most overplayed situation in BGR-land. Guy meets Girl,they both fall for each other. And then Girl turns out to b attached to Jerky Bf whom she is obligated to b with due to the fact dat theyve been together for a couple of years. Instantly Guy becomes The Other Guy and Girl gives empty promises of wanting to break up with Jerky Bf but doesnt ever get to it AND takes advantage of The Other Guy's kindness. Bcoz she's in such a "confused" state,Girl gives in and kisses The Other Guy on occassions then feels bad for it & regrets "cheating on bf" and tries to avoid him and say the golden words "maybe we should just stay as friends"..Pffffffttttt. But den again,not all girls are that evil so maybe he mite b in gd hands.


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[ music: muse - hysteria ]

Someone's goin to d jungle today after many mths of ndp rehearsals. hehehe.. we've got the weekend planned out as always but lets see if it does happen as we'd like it to be..i think dats the biggest challenge..coz when u plan sumtin,u always end up doin sumtin entirely different. So yah,after work yesterday Fel & i went over to clementi but the clinic was closed. It was nice to catch up with her after her weeks of attachment in Thailand. She seems to be happier now that she's single and thats good. But she's been partying too hard & actually asked me along to Thumper tonight. Crazyness..


-------------

[ music: goldfrapp - ooh la la ]

Hi hi..havent had the time to update coz i've been swamped with work the past week & we've also been receiving loads of phone calls since they've sent out d promotional mailer. Too many enquiries = interruptions = no time to complete my work!
And someone please tell me how is it earthly possible that Mr.Joakim Prettyboy is still in the SI competition? Ok,i think i've got the answer in my question itself. Not that i really do give a shit but i think Singaporeans REALLY got it blardee wrong diz time..Paul Twohill is proving to b a living contradiction by acting all emo-coreish (which is like so 3 yrs ago) and suddenly sings a boyzone track? Its like gosh,who would sing boyzone?? I think he could do so much better.. and omfg, the trailers are super annoying. Bleagh.


In my opinion,Taufik will always be the Singapore Idol. *grins*

Anyways, the zoo trip was fun & i think we'll b goin again jus the two of us or maybe wit d two bucktooths? khekheke. I wish i could get d pc soon so i can chat with all my long-lost friends. Payday is 2 weeks away & i've planned to get dat pair of puma running shoes. woohoo!


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[ music: the vines' cover of paint it black ]









Had a nice dinner with the girlies & it was frustrating to not have found anything nice tat i could buy..The pin-striped kneelength shorts @ esprit was also like off d shelves n so ya,im still in a dilemma of wat to wear to the zoo tis weekend. Yup we're goin to d zoo! Weehoo~!!
I missed the finale for desperate housewives..darn. Thk god for the encore diz fri. Tmr's a holiday n i wanna sleep in & chill out at my bedok reservoir retreat a.k.a my aunt's hse. Haha..Alritey,hafta finish my work..Oh and ya,its someone's first day at work today *wink wink*


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[ music: radiohead - karma police]



I discovered the patriotic side of me..Haha..Click to view d NDP 2006 [Preview] pictures via imagestation..I planned to upload to my diaryland & insert captions but the servers were being a bitch..I think we had fun that day tho..and i got to see Electrico perform! Its weird how i suddenly like em a lot...
I feel very rimas..I dunno why but i just do. Bleagh..

-------------

[ music: u2 - with or without you ]

Again,i pushed away my chores & just laid in bed under the covers after my shower when i reached hm last night. I dunno,i just laid there & fell asleep only to wake up in an hr feeling shitty. expectations of happy moments pricked my conscience and i just carelessly analyze.. The past remains in the past,rite? So why do i still feel diz pull of the heart...


-------------

[ music: muse - starlight ]

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the cells that would die just to feel alive

I’ll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away...

this song is on repeat mode at home. i dunno,i just love it. and the lyrics are beautiful too.. i think HL banana milk tastes like post's banana nut crunch cereal. No? Ok.. Btw kan,im in the midst of preparing d minutes but sumhow i feel like i cant focus. My brain is like zoning out on what im gonna do after work & at home. Yeah,tons of chores - dun noe which to start & finish. I still wanna revamp my room but i just dont seem to have the time nowadays. And it bugs me greatly..cos i get very rimas when i dun have time to do what i want. Lots of ideas pop in the head but when i get home,i forget all about it & just stone out in front of the telly or fall asleep..
The PS2 is finally in my hands again when he came over n passed it to me last night. I think i have him to thank for a hell lot of things. Basically for being here..and for scolding me in Tamil. HAHAHAHA. *does d gigit action*


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HARD GAY! Check him out on ur nearest video downloads source~




-------------

[ music: incubus - talkshow on mute ]

How do u noe if u have a weight problem? Is it when u realize that ur clothes size has transitioned into the dreaded L word? Is it when friends+family shockingly look at u as if u swallowed another whole of urself when they see u after a long time? Or is it really when ur weight has escalated above ur average.. I have never been small-built after hitting 14 but i have also certainly never weighed beyond my most heaviest. Now,i wont even say.. Do we focus on how we gained the excess fats or do we just look straight and work on how to get rid of it? Im seriously waiting for something to push me forward..To get on my feet..To develop a healthy habit. I'm sick of feeling uncomfortable in clothes and im sick of feeling inferior when i see thin anorexic girls...I’ve got plans. I just need that push & support from a loved one….

Sometimes certain regretful feelings hit us just a little too late. Feelings that should have felt during the time we carelessly hurt the ones who cared for us, only to realize it when they're gone or even dead. Don’t become desperate for something u’ve lost.. Life continues everyday & if u keep thinking about things like that, its just gonna kill u hard inside…It hurt when I talked to his mum last night coz its just painful to know how dedicated other mothers are to their children. It leaves me thinking, I love my mum n she’s been wonderful to me but was she really a bad mother to let me live alone here in spore? Questions that has right & wrong answers depending on each opinion..and again I cried..i cried cos I longed for a happy normal family, cried cos I longed to feel secure, cried abt how my dreams have been made impossible due to my situation at home…
a big hello to anna anyways..*smiles*


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[ music: muse - starlight ]

never have i ever felt so left out & alone in the place tat im staying..im down with a bad flu & it sucked to not have my mum ard to take care of me. i mean,no matter how independent we get,mum's love would always make us feel secure and safe..and i needed that last night when i had my fever. but i was just alone in my room coughing away..
the ndp preview was fun anyway! it was the first time in so long that i got to spend time with linda. initially it was planned dat i was goin dere with fazmi's sis & niece but in d end his mama said fateha mite buat perangai so then i hadta find other friends who were interested..and the ones who were interested,hadto work n had plans. so in came linda. and we had nice starbucks coffee. and she almost lost her nric too. haha. we also looked very belo happily singing along & waving ard the pong+bong inflatables. it was my first ndp experience in 21 yrs n altho it was just a preview,i had fun. Happy birthday Singapore!! I'll post pictures once i complete my report..


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[ music: muse - starlight ]

nick verreos is out of project runway and its sad. his designs were straightforward but spectacular n he looks so metrosexually attractive, all clean & sleek. what a bummer. anyways, faz got us preview ndp tix! woohoo~ =)


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[ music: goo goo dolls – iris ]

i've been a bad bad person. been selfish of my own feelings & sparked unexpected tempers.. i cant comprehend why i get so easily ticked by the littlest things nowadays. is it stress? or is it bcos i have yet to settle issues i have with myself before i can blame people for hurting me. it sure hurts when that imbecile becomes an issue. its like nobody understands how it feels and im more alone than ever. my mum's been stressing me too cos last nite she told me to use the money in her acc to get d pc first. the thing is,i've used about 300+ from hers and i dont noe how to confess to that. work is pilling up,yet i still have to do things for people. sometimes i myself dont noe what i want.. all i hoped for was to be loved,cared for. i just need love cos i dun get it at all frm my home and im juz diz solitary block of wood. i feel shitty for blaming him continuously when im the one who is so consumed with my own insecurities. my head hurts and i feel like breaking down...this song is a favourite…


And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight


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[ music: the great spy experiment - class A love affair ]

nice song. why is local music paid recognition by the mainstream only recently when emo/indie/whatever-rock has emulated into a trend? a question i shall not bother about. but then again,there has been so many gd local acts for so long and its only now dat they finally hv a show dedicated to homegrown bands on radio. oh well. guess what,im just about to leave the office. hoho


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[ music: foo fighters - everlong ]

He surprised me by placing diz card inside my bag and im touched..Its been a tough period for me so it makes me glad to know that at least someone's proud of what i've been doing what with the reports n living independently n all..Ever since the massive weight gain,i admit i do get too self-conscious of myself and im beginning to realize how it mite have irritated the people ard me. And diz is why im gonna promise myself that i'll try to work on my confidence..
I love Hard Gay though. he's freaking hilarious


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i hate my fucking life.


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[ music: the feeling - fill my little world ]

diz song puts a smile on my chubby face. i luv it. many many! we just had a briefing on the megastore tats gonna be opening at the end of diz year. the support centre office will be redirected there n i'll b one of the staff moving in there as well. so yah,it was quite exciting to see the progress n impressive drawings of how the store's gonna turn out like. singapore idol sucked cos gayle nerva got booted out..im like still extremely disappointed. she's got one of the best voices & she always looks so pleasant. its really a big waste to see her go..and tat stupid getai kangkang was actually safe? my gdness. she must have a lot of friends. :/

come show me some love
you aint so tough
fill my little world
right up
right up


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[ mood: EMPTY & RIMAS ]

i'd like to watch nacho libre. and devour sweet salty popcorn with someone who enjoys my company. i'd like to have pretty hair 24/7. i'd like to go through the exact